PREGNANCY ADVICE
There's another pregnant Sara blogger, heh. Congrats to her.
I started thinking about what advice I would give to another pregnant lady, and I decided to keep it generic: Listen to everyone's advice, but find your own path.
(Because I too like to invoke Chairman Mao while giving unsolicited advice. In fact, I think he's who I turn to most for inappropriate quotes regarding pregnancy and/or graduation.)
But seriously. An example: Everyone I knew told me to buy under-the-belly maternity pants. They're more modern, they have cuter styles, and they were "more comfortable." So I did. And they dug into me and annoyed the tar out of me. I was always complaining about the elastic. So one day last week, on a frustrated whim, I tried on a pair of the over-the-belly pants. Holy cow, I was so much happier. They don't dig in like the others. Pants don't make me cry anymore, hooray!
I took everyone else's advice and it didn't work for me. I'm just bummed it took me seven weeks of uncomfortable pants before I finally threw everyone else's fashion advice out the window. I figured they knew better than I did, but it turns out they had just done what worked for them. And apparently I am carrying way low and needed something different.
So listen to everyone and ask lots of questions, but then go with your gut. If your gut says that you should be wearing grampa pants up to your armpits, then go for it!
Unless you eat a lot of fruit and soft foods, you ain't everybody.
And for guys, the reason pregnant chicks are hot is because at some level, you know they put out.
Posted by: chuck at October 21, 2009 06:02 PM (bMH2g)
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I'm 9 weeks along right now and am horribly, horribly nauseous almost all of the time. I'm in that weird stage where I don't fit maternity clothes or my regular clothes. And any pressure on my tummy makes my nausea worse. I'm either hanging out in the house in sack dresses or big honkin' maternity pants hidden under a baggy shirt. Anything to get through this phase....
LOLOLOLOL at Chuck's comment.
Posted by: Heather at October 21, 2009 07:41 PM (umwpW)
Oh don't worry about it, dear. :-) I don't think you'll be making the DBFHB list any time soon. And really in my case everyone does know more than I do. The only subject on which I am selectively open to advice is fitness. I trust my trainers and a doctor. Otherwise I'm clueless and just reading tons of books to catch up.
You're like me, so self aware.
And chuck's comment made me laugh (hoarsly) out loud. "because you know they put out". HA! my kinda humor
Posted by: Sara at October 21, 2009 08:34 PM (mjMky)
I admit it - I worn "granny" pants during my prego times. I couldn't stand anything cutting into me either. When not going out of the house, I stuck to gowns or my hubs huge t-shirts, it was just more comfortable.
Always do what works for you and you will be just fine
And I agree with Sara & Heather, Chuck's comment - ROFLMAO.
Posted by: LMT at October 22, 2009 10:04 AM (leJhY)
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I have something to admit here. Probably it's because of my age but... I have never understood how anyone could stand to wear bikini underwear, it is way toooooo much like the old sanitary belts (especially thongs) we had to wear back in the day. I feel the same about the under the belly pants, even the higher than that but not up to the waist type. I guess I'm just too used to my comfortable ways. BTW I will be 73 next Monday! I do go wayyyy back.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 22, 2009 11:46 AM (zlUde)
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Hahahahah, who I turn to most. I laugh every time I hear it, and think of the guy on Fox whose name I am totally drawing a blank on. Maybe the WH is sending me subliminal messages while I sleep to steer clear of Fox?
I didn't like under the belly, but did like right across the belly. Over the belly was okay. I'm sure people mean well, but the only thing you need while pregnant is a good body pillow and a clear path to the bathroom. After baby, forget all the cute clothes with thousands of snaps and get the gowns so when you are changing the 100th diaper for the day it is easier on you.
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You have figured out the key to being a good mom WAYYYYY before I did! DO YOUR OWN THING! GREAT advice!
By the way, I'm with you on the pants. The only pants that worked for me were the over the belly ones as well, but because I was carrying WAY HIGH and the under belly ones fell off of me!
Posted by: Stacy at October 23, 2009 04:15 PM (qlReK)
Beware of the advice. When I was pregnant with my first, I was pretty stupid, but thought I was smart. I got really tied into doing 'what everyone else' was doing, or the timelines that were soooo important.... Having to breast feed or weining or getting rid of the binky or bottle, walking, talking, potty training.... Every kid is different and each has his/her own timeline. Don't worry about it! Of course, the whole breast feeding until 9 years old is, uhm, creepy. And another thing....
Breast feeding sucks ass, too.
Posted by: Allicadem at October 23, 2009 06:45 PM (1UtZE)
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I can't find them on the website, but I had some Motherhood maternity stretch pants that were the BEST PREGNANCY PANTS IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD.
I had two pair, and I rotated them frequently.
http://www.motherhood.com/maternity/pants.asp
They still have some very nice styles, though not the plain black stretch pants I have. Just be aware that an XL in Motherhood shirt language is a M in normal-person (non-pregnant normal-person, at that) language. Their shirts have NO boob space. That is a maternity clothes company FAIL. How can you make maternity clothes, and not leave tons of boob space??? I just don't understand . . .
Sorry, tangent.
Despite the shortcomings in their shirts, their pants are unparalleled in the comfort department. I recommend going to your nearest Motherhood store and trying stuff on. They're kind of pricey, but they are SOOO worth the money.
Posted by: Deltasierra at October 26, 2009 02:52 PM (D4fxj)
MASSIVE FRAUD IS A SURPRISE?
On a superficial note, I just have to say how funny I think it is that the Obama administration is all in a tizzy about fraud in the elections in Afghanistan. Our own country is over 200 years old, and we still have people squawking every election cycle about fraud (and rightfully so, because we still have people voting unjustly in every cycle). I just think it's funny to expect Afghanistan to be this bastion of trustworthiness and ethical behavior and to be surprised when it's not. Really, they can't talk about committing more troops until election fraud is settled? I can't believe massive election fraud wasn't factored into the plan as a given!
And a funny (in a sad way) quote from Michael Yon:
Regarding the Afghan election, which is now headed for a runoff,
the good news is that the vast majority of Afghans didn’t vote in the
first place and probably are not paying much attention, since they are
illiterate and mostly live in remote villages, many of which do not
have radios. (That’s also a mouthful of bad news.)
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I've been trying and trying to think of a good comment for this, but in the end I keep coming back to my reaction when I read your post title - a nodding head and the word "Seriously".
Posted by: airforcewife at October 21, 2009 07:59 AM (9sMSe)
Sarah just calculated that her husband has been deployed for 99 days. It's a good number for bottles of beer on the wall, but not so good for number of days being apart...
Also, he is being a total John Adams and hasn't sent me one single letter. "But we don't have outgoing mail out here" blah blah blah, like I believe that.
I'm tired of being in stores and seeing something I could give him for Christmas, and then putting it back because I realize that he won't be here for Christmas...
I'm tired of seeing myself in the mirror at night before bed and noticing how absolutely remarkable and amazing I look with my big, bare belly, and knowing he will never get to see it. I am not trying to be lewd, but I think the hardest thing about the pregnancy so far is that my husband doesn't get to see what I look like with no clothes on. The changes are pretty phenomenal, and I don't have anyone to share it with.
I just miss him.
I know, I know, "gold to aery thinness beat" and all, like I always say. But I'm feeling dull and sublunary today.
Sarah, I am sorry you are going thru this alone, especially after all you both went thru to get "here". My idea/suggestion won't "take the place" of your husband being there w/you, but wondering if you can take weekly/monthly pictures of the amazing changes, then put them in a book (like snapfish advertises - you could do a nice leather bound or something) and the you can give to your husband when he returns? Your comment about body changing doesnt sound lewd, but maybe you could photograph it and create a book for him to enjoy and recollect/reflect.
Just an idea...
Posted by: Keri at October 20, 2009 01:59 PM (dtvJC)
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Maybe you might like to splurge for the gorgeous belly shots by a professional photographer?
I was an awful pregnant lady - I looked like an elephant. I always envied people who looked cute enough to get those gorgeous pregnant belly shots. You could totally pull that off.
Also, I was never pregnant when they were manufacturing cute preggers clothes. Somehow, whenever I was knocked up it was all about plaid or horizontal stripes, or else stuff that Mrs. Roper would have worn on Three's Company.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 20, 2009 03:22 PM (9sMSe)
And ya know what? If you see something your Husband might want, or need? Buy that sucker up! Who says Christmas has to be in December. You can have Christmas when he is home, safe and sound!
Posted by: jw at October 21, 2009 10:14 AM (spEu4)
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I like the idea of the preggers pics too.
And, the buying of the Christmas gifts. Why not?
And, if anyone were to have to come to my house at any point this week, I'd be in TROUBLE. Between traveling, M2 being sick, me being sick and never being home in the evenings, this place is running off the rails!
I hope you hear from him soon!
Posted by: Guard Wife at October 21, 2009 11:20 AM (p4/8e)
John Podhoretz once remarked that all conservatives are bilingual: We
speak both conservative and liberal. Liberals are monolingual, because
they can afford to be. To the Obama crowd, Fox News is a foreign
tongue. The “mainstream†tongue? Well, we all grew up with it, were
taught in it.
When conservatives hear liberal bias, they say,
“Yeah, so? The sun rises in the east.†When liberals hear conservative
bias, or even a point or bit of news uncongenial to liberals, they’re
apt to say, “Eek, a mouse!â€
This is the same thing that makes liberals say that Rush is probably a racist even though there's no proof. They think they understand how we think, when they're generally pretty far off the mark.
YAY, GIVE HIM ANOTHER PEACE PRIZE!
Finally, an Obama move I can applaud:
Federal drug agents won't pursue pot-smoking patients or their
sanctioned suppliers in states that allow medical marijuana, under new
legal guidelines to be issued Monday by the Obama administration.
Two
Justice Department officials described the new policy to The Associated
Press, saying prosecutors will be told it is not a good use of their
time to arrest people who use or provide medical marijuana in strict
compliance with state law.
It makes no sense to have a state law that makes something legal and a federal law that trumps it. For me, it's a simple Tenth Amendment issue and a fight or flee issue: if you need medicinal marijuana, move to a state that offers it; if it offends you, move away. I don't think it should be a federal law at all.
So good job, for now, of clarifying a ridiculous conflict in laws. Let the states decide.
Now to work on teasing apart inter- and intra-state commerce...starting in Montana...
HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO A WORD HE'S SAID?
David Frum is absolutely wrong. I would bet anything you'd ask of me that Glenn Beck would rather be penniless than to sell out on his values and principles. I would guarantee it. Frum is dead wrong, which makes me wonder if he's ever even listened to Beck in the first place.
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Frum asked, "Do Limbaugh and Beck Believe What They Say?"
I'd like to ask him the same thing. I bet he probably does.
Some believe one thing and say another.
Others believe what they say, but not all of them retain the same core beliefs over time.
A lack of retention is not necessarily a bad thing. I myself have changed enormously over the years. Am I evil because I'm not a Leftist anymore?
The problem is when one becomes Y but still claims to be X.
Frum still regards himself as a conservative. Yet he has mutated into the perfect nominal opponent of the Democrats. Different, but not too different. Not too radical. Safe. Weak. Like the Korean Social Democratic Party and the Chondoist Chongu Party in North Korea which can never threaten the Workers' Party of Korea.
Why does Frum call his site newmajority.com? Because he feels liberals are the majority and he wants to be part of it. He cares what others think. He wants to be one of them.
America has changed (= liberalized), so 'conservatives' must also change (= liberalize).
Frum wants American conservatives to be like British and Canadians. Listen to him in this video starting at 0:03. I couldn't stand to listen to any more of it.
Perhaps Frum believes that those who have not become RINOs, who have not 'evolved' to a 'higher', more Leftist level, must be clinging to the past for profit.
Or perhaps it's all projection on his part.
I don't really care what he thinks. I have no idea. I shouldn't speculate. It is sufficient to condemn what he says.
You may want to read "Is Glenn Beck Good for Conservatives?" which is more like "Does David Horowitz Think David Frum Is Good for Conservatives?" The short answer is 'no'.
Frum is a disgrace. I don't envy him. Who wants to be a 'court conservative' surrounded by Leftists?
There will be no token liberals in the gulch.
Posted by: Amritas at October 18, 2009 05:29 PM (h9KHg)
If Frum has gone liberal, I'm OK with that. I don't know him personally. I don't feel betrayed. People switch sides all the time. Personal beliefs don't hurt me.
What upsets me is how he wants others to follow his lead and build "a new [non-]conservatism that can [supposedly] win again". Frum can believe whatever he wants, but does he have to try to drag us down with him so he won't feel lonely?
Why should we support RINOs who are doomed to lose? Why would a liberal vote for a guy who offers almost as many handouts? Why would a conservative vote for a guy who offers handouts at all?
Winning isn't everything. Being small r-right is what matters. If only a few people are right, so be it. I'd rather be one of them than part of Frum's new majority.
If most people start believing 2 + 2 = 5, Frum will advise us to believe it, or at least to 'admit' that 2 + 2 = 5 ... sometimes. I'd ignore him. Truth is not democratic.
Again, changing your mind is not inherently wrong. The question is, do you change it because you want to be (un)like everyone else*, or because you think you're closer to the truth?
(*Being a deliberate contrarian is as bad as being a lemming. Rejecting something just because everyone else believes in it is still a form of caring about what others think, of letting others determine your thoughts, of not using your brain's full potential. What a waste.)
One more thing: Although there is no inherent reason that the word conservatism has to mean what I think it does as opposed to what Frum thinks it does or something completely different, we need some degree of consensus on what a term means, lest it become meaningless.
'Fascist' is almost meaningless. Nowadays it simply refers to whatever the speaker doesn't like, regardless of whether it resembles Mussolini's ideology or not. It's just a more politically flavored synonym of 'bad'.
Will 'conservative' mean 'almost liberal'? Will a new term like 'traditionalist' arise to take its place? That term has its own issues: e.g., which traditions does traditionalism stand for? All of them? Some of them? Maybe there's no point in discussing a new term now if we should try to hang on to the one we've already got.
Posted by: Amritas at October 18, 2009 06:07 PM (h9KHg)
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I think they do believe what they say. I mean, what a waste of an article. It's not like Olbermann, O'Reilly and all the other opinion hosts just woke up one day and decided they wanted to be famous and though really hard about what their tactic would be. That's such a ridiculous statement from Frum, however, I do have to say that although I like the message, I don't like Glenn Beck. I mean, he really gets over the top sometimes...like when he starts crying about stuff...seriously? Come on, Glenn. You're not Oprah. It's supposed to be an opinion news show.
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at October 21, 2009 08:57 AM (irIko)
I love looking pregnant. I never want to look normal again. You can have the aches and pains, but let me keep the tummy. I take great delight in the fact that I crossed through hell to get here, but at least I make a cute pregnant lady. I deserve for luck to be on my side for once, right? I have been amazed that strangers have had the guts to ask me when my baby is due; either they are really brave or I look so obviously pregnant that they feel safe in asking. I'd like to believe the latter.
I am halfway there.
Whenever you call the hospital, a recording says that if you are less than 20 weeks pregnant, you should go to the ER in an emergency. If you are more than 20 weeks, you head straight to Labor and Delivery.
Should something go wrong, I have crossed the threshold from "having a miscarriage" to "delivering a baby." It's both a daunting and a wonderful milestone.
Most of the time, I don't worry about that. At least not now that she's started wiggling where I can feel it. It wasn't as wow as I expected it to be, because I guess I expected a hard kick instead of little stretches and rumbles. But when I really think about it, it is a fun feeling. And it's like a secret: I can be doing stuff with my mom and then say, "She's been kicking this whole time," and my mom gets this wonderful look on her face like I told her I was pregnant for the first time all over again. That's been fun.
Still, the worry is always in the back of my mind. Every time I buy something, I imagine it sitting in the garage collecting dust like all the other things I've bought over the years. I bought a crib and mattress this week, and part of me just chalks it up as money wasted because I cannot really see this all working out in the end. Surely there will never really be a baby in this house.
Sometimes I catch sight of myself in the mirror when I'm getting ready for bed, and I "discover" that I'm pregnant. It hits me, that I have this belly and that for most people it means that they will be having a baby soon. But I still kinda think of it as something that happens to "most people," not me.
She has a name, and yet I never use it. She is only "the baby."
And I don't know when it will feel real. I should tour Labor and Delivery. I should take one of the parenting classes. I should work on a birth plan. I should consider a doula in case my husband doesn't get home in time. But I do none of these things because they still seem pointless.
It's hard to explain, that I am enjoying the pregnancy while simultaneously doubting that it will ever actually result in a living baby.
I've
taken a lot of guff for being too ready to have a baby, which is why I find all this so funny: I've been ready for a theoretical baby for ten years but I am still not ready for this real one inside of me. People get wide-eyed when I say that I bought college-themed onesies way back when my
husband and I were just dating, knowing that someday a baby would root for our
alma maters. We bought a mosaic to hang on baby's wall when we were on
our cruise in 2005, long before we were ever thinking of having a baby. And I bought an art print of a
mother and baby bird even before I ever met my husband. I have been ready
for this moment for as long as I can remember. And now we have a nursery,
an honest-to-goodness nursery, and all these things are in it. But still...
When will I stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? I just want to feel like a normal happy person instead of leaving the tags on everything "just in case."
This post turned out far more morose than I thought it would be...
And while I'm writing this, I realized that I sort of cling to this sorrow. I think part of me is resisting being a "normal happy person." I still carry the pain of the three lost babies, but to the stranger on the street, I look like any other pregnant Army wife. And once I have the baby, I am just like any other mom. But I don't feel like a regular old first-time mom. Now that I look like everyone else in the Babies R Us, I feel like I want to wear a sign that says "Trust me, it was much harder to get to this point than you think."
I haven't figured out yet how to separate the happiness of this baby from the sadness of the others without feeling like I am turning my back on the others and also myself. I haven't figured out how to get over my past, and most of the time I am not really sure I want to. I don't want to dwell on it, but I don't want to move on and forget it either.
And maybe that's why I can't cut any tags off. It's not really that I think this baby will die, because I truthfully don't really think she will. Or at least I don't have any reason to think she will. Instead, I think I resist because it means accepting a new identity and shedding the old one, which is proving hard for me. Now I am just another pregnant Army wife and will soon be just another Army wife dragging a stroller around. My belly is a sign of great things, but it's also the end of the person I have been for the past three years. And even though I've hated that person, I don't know how to not be her anymore.
I don't know how to move on and just be happy and just be a mom without constantly feeling like I need to explain everything. When people ask if this is my first baby, I just need to answer Yes instead of feeling like I need to unload the whole story. Because right now, the story's still in me and it still feels like a big part of who I am.
And I wonder when it won't...when I'll just feel like this is my baby and we are a regular family like everyone else.
I went through a lot of the same things as far as emotions go. I used to have dreams where I'd wake up not pregnant anymore, and be in
a complete panic when I actually did wake up even though it was her
kicking me awake. Every big pregnancy milestone, I had a dream that somebody stole the baby before I got to experience it--the big ultrasound, the first kicks, going to the hospital to give birth. I didn't wash any of her clothes until the 32 week, and only the gender-neutral clothes. We fought so hard to get pregnant, and STAY pregnant that even when my water broke, I was kind of surprised that it was really going to happen--that we were going to get to meet the Captain. So either it's normal to feel like that, or we think alike.
And as morbid as that crossing from going to the ER to going to L&D threshold is, it is a big deal. You're doing great, and I'm so happy for you.
Posted by: Ann M. at October 15, 2009 10:32 AM (+GQ3g)
You don't have to be 'just another Army Mom.' Your story is a part of you. It's a part of your little girl. It's how you became who you are now (even as you move into new phases of your identity) and it's part of how she came to be. No, people won't know that from simply looking at either of you, but it will still always be that way.
You know that I lost my Mom when my first daughter was 4 months old. When people would see me in the context of my pregnancy they had no clue that I was also living in constant fear and worry and sadness because my Mom had terminal cancer. And I got really ticked off at people who just oozed pregant happiness at me because I was expecting without realizing the heartache I was experiencing at the same time. And that experience is a part of me and my daughter. I looked like any first time Mom. But I wasn't. And the reality is, that a whole lot of women who look like any 'normal pregnant person' are also living in a story a lot bigger than the baby bump they're carrying around. You aren't just any first time Mom who can take all that comes from new baby stuff for granted. You are a woman who fought tooth and nail for a child. You've used more Mama-bear ferocity in the last few years than most people do during the first few years of their babies lives. You know better than most of us how tenuous life really is.
So don't think that you have to dismiss the hugeness of all that has happened as baby coming becomes more and more a reality. It's part of who you are. It's part of who she is--not in a bad way that means you're strapping heartache to her life forever, but in a good way that means her life is already infused with meaning and a story that is bigger than her alone. You aren't just any pregnant army Mom. You are Sarah, and you are pretty damned amazing. You look absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait til you get to meet that precious little girl.
(P.S. I'm sorry I wrote a book...)
Posted by: Val at October 15, 2009 11:36 AM (5btL/)
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You are a lovely pregnant lady. When I was pregnant, I heard about free doula services for the spouses of deployed service members. I'm not sure if you know about it already, but it's definitely worth exploring. Enjoy those little kicks; they get bigger!
Posted by: Lee Anne at October 15, 2009 12:32 PM (N5ZmR)
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Yay! I'm glad you are enjoying all of this so much.
I think the waiting for the other shoe to drop and the grieving alongside the enjoyment are totally understandable. In fact, I'm guessing it's normal. I've been in a different set of shoes, so I'm grieving a different set of things, but what you're saying here totally resonates with me.
Perhaps we could have t-shirts made up to wear into Babies 'R Us. . . .
For what it's worth, I'm not sure one can separate sadness over the past from happiness in the present. I don't think you need to try, if you don't want to.
And for what it's worth, I totally don't think you *do* need to just answer "Yes." Those three little ones you lost really were your babies and you really did lose them, and that *is* a big part of who you are. I think it's fine to say, "Actually, we lost three little ones early in pregnancy. She's our fourth." If they're uncomfortable, their problem.
For what it's worth. . . .
Posted by: Lucy at October 15, 2009 02:25 PM (YNvUz)
Aww, what a cutie patootie pregnant chick you are!
I know it's hard. Nothing anyone says will make that feeling go away, but just try to enjoy as much as you can!
Posted by: sharona at October 15, 2009 08:14 PM (BeRta)
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When I was pregnant with L.E., I spent the first 20 weeks racked with fear. I didn't look at baby names, didn't tell my office, went to bed immediately when coming home from work, and largely lived in my own self made bat cave. After infertility and miscarriage, it was impossible for me to focus on the impending miracle. Too scary. Too fearful of how destroyed I would be if something went wrong and my hopes were crushed again.
At 20 weeks, when we found out she was a girl, for the first time even uttered a baby name. I was still guarded, shaky and scared. Better... but consumed by fear. As the weeks went on, it did get better and I did enjoy parts of it, but the whole process was all consuming. Even right at the very end, when she stopped moving at 41 weeks, even through the weekly ultrasounds, etc, I was borderline hysterical. That day of fear led to the birth of my sweet, phenomenal baby girl. The fear played it's role that day and led me to a needed induction and a perfect birth. And the thing I couldn't stop saying for the first few weeks was. No one can ever take her away from me. She's really mine. This really happened. It was an unbelievable journey.
I still grieve for the baby I lost and the pain and suffering en route to my children. It's never left me, and I doubt it ever will. I cry tears of joy every time I hear news of a good ultrasound for friends and breathe a little sigh of relief. If someone around me experiences a loss, I move what I can to make sure I am there, supportive, listening, and not offering advice or it will all work out in the ends. It's just a part of me now. And frankly if someone told me to just pull it together already, I wouldn't have a clue how, now two babies and five years later. This *is* who I am now.
But, dude! You bought a crib - that's huge! I couldn't pull that off until month 8! I never bought a single thing until the last month. You're doing great, looking good and being an amazing mother. That will show forever. And IMO, as your baby girl grows, share this journey with her. Let her feel your heartache, see you as real and know how undeniably wanted she was in each and every minute. That will help form her character, all while binding the two of you together. No one is walking without some fraction of pain in their lives. To pretend to be so is phony. So be real with your thoughts, be real with your emotions, and in another 20 weeks or so, I wish you hours of endless bliss with your sweet baby girl. Clear your calendar and get ready to soak up the amazing relief and love. Of course your baby will be brilliant, so she'll probably come right out of the womb, look up at you and say "Thanks for waiting mama, I'll try to always make it worth it for you."
I'm anxious for your rainbows of peace as well.
Posted by: Lane at October 15, 2009 08:41 PM (Xla7j)
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Yup! you are definitely pregnant. I never lost a baby but I was always fearful and I have to admit to being superstitious about getting "things" too soon. My fears were not relieved by ultrasounds, we did not have them in my days of being pregnant, but I did have three very healthy, beautiful babies. Yours will be, too.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 15, 2009 08:59 PM (LsQQS)
This line especially caught me: "I haven't figured out yet how to separate the happiness of this baby
from the sadness of the others without feeling like I am turning my
back on the others and also myself."
I hope when you first look in that little girl's eyes, this all clicks into place and "the others" take their place as that which prepared a very special place for this little girl in everyone's hearts. So it won't feel like you're turning your back.
{{Hugs}}
Posted by: Guard Wife at October 16, 2009 12:02 AM (p4/8e)
I, too, waited for the other shoe to drop the entire time I was pregnant with the boys. Even at the birth, when "Baby A" was in distress, I thought, "Well, at least there's another if this one is dead... I didn't go through all of that for nothing."
And to this day, unfortunately, the dread never leaves. But that's what being a mom is about. You never stop wondering when the other shoe will drop. For some of us, it has dropped -- maybe too many times -- to feel safe and unaffected. But life makes you more and more wary the older you get! We're all barely hanging by a thread and seeing how fragile (AND strong) that thread can be.... Can be numbing and scary....
Congrats! I can't wait for you to get REALLY big.... And feel the different parts, elbows and knees, gliding and rolling under the skin....
Posted by: Allicadem at October 16, 2009 08:02 PM (eGglD)
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You do look just lovely, Sarah. I'm SO excited for you.
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 16, 2009 08:27 PM (paOhf)
Our first was born ON our 7th anniversary. My mother was an only child after 8 years of problems. In the greater scheme of things problems are normal; I pray they're done for you for now.
You're looking good. Sorry your husband isn't there to admire. Send him lots of pictures.
Posted by: Glenmore at October 16, 2009 09:47 PM (V0mpS)
Posted by: Mrs. Who at October 17, 2009 02:22 PM (+UBtq)
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You and your daughter are both beautiful. Very radiant
Posted by: Teresa VanHove at October 19, 2009 04:24 PM (dkExz)
19
Though our paths are so different, as always I hear you. I'm struggling with something similar--putting in its proper place the pain of the past and identity it has forged (how do I let go of the pain without letting go of who I have become?). I think the commenters above are on the right track with this subject. I think maybe the idea is to weave the pain into the fabric and life in such a way that it no longer drags us down and yet going forward it makes happiness all the sweeter.
*hugs of both joy and sympathy*
Posted by: FbL at October 20, 2009 12:36 PM (HyNTm)
Posted by: FbL at October 20, 2009 12:37 PM (HyNTm)
21I haven't figured out yet how to separate the happiness of this baby
from the sadness of the others without feeling like I am turning my
back on the others and also myself.
Someday, when you have a houseful of little munchkins, you'll realize what every parent knows: loving one child takes nothing from the others.
It's normal to feel this way, but love is a cup that fills right back up to the brim when others drink from it. And I know that one day soon, you'll be able to relax and know this, too.
You're going to be a fantastic mother.
Posted by: Cassandra at October 24, 2009 04:51 PM (oSDvp)
1
I have to agree. I think deployments are way easier for me than other wives on my husband's boat. We have two kids and now I'm in law school. I HAVE to live my life and can't sit around. I mean, I get pouty for about 5 minutes if I miss a phone call, but then a kid needs feeding, or there's soccer practice, or I have paper deadline and I keep on trucking. Those who sit around waiting for an email to hit the computer or a "o hai it's a port" phone call seem to have a much harder time.
I lurk mostly, but I'm glad you're doing well, and just had to say "I agree."
Posted by: Tara at October 13, 2009 02:18 PM (er6nW)
I hit George Bush's total for 2008, so now I am racing to catch Rove. I also got lazy about writing my reviews as soon as I finished the book, hence some of the short ones.
40) Misunderestimated (Bill Sammon) In honor of passing Pres Bush's book total for 2008, I read a book about him. A good book. I really liked this.
38) A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khaled Hosseini) AirForceWife lent me this book, and I read it very quickly and cried all through the last segment. It was a good, though horrifying, story.
37) The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy (Vicky Iovine) I got a few laughs out of this book, learned some things, and especially appreciated the chapter on what to pack to take to the hospital. It also saddened me to keep reading about all the things a husband should be doing during a pregnancy...
35) Class 11: Inside the COA's First Post-9/11 Spy Class (TJ Waters) I really enjoyed this book and thought it was super interesting, but I am still shocked that he was allowed to write it. I learned many things that I supposed I wouldn't be allowed to learn about the CIA.
34) Bold Fresh Piece Of Humanity (Bill O'Reilly) My mom wanted this book for Christmas, so she brought it back so I could read it. I have never been the biggest O'Reilly fan, but this book rounded out his personality for me and made him more of a complete character than just his show does.
33) Showdown (Larry Elder) Larry Elder always challenges me to think more libertarian.
32) Takedown (Brad Thor) Another good one, as usual. I especially liked the idea of inventing a second attack on the US after 9/11. And I love Jack Rutledge as president.
31) A Red State of Mind (Nancy French) I have known about this book for a long time, and Nancy French has even commented here a couple of times, but I just finally got around to reading it. I thought it was charming as all get-out. And if I ever thought I was irritated by Kerry voters in 2004...
1
Next on your list should be: It's Not News, It's Fark! Seriously - hilarious! AND, surprisingly informative.
Posted by: BigD78 at October 12, 2009 02:10 PM (W3XUk)
2
I didn't know Cosmic Justice was "a collection of speeches". I thought it was one long argument against cosmic justice. (Notice how CJ entails cosmic-scale government.)
Class 11 could contain a lot of disinformation.
What is the point of the title of O'Reilly's book? Is he trying to refer to himself in a funny way? I don't get it.
Posted by: Amritas at October 12, 2009 02:57 PM (+nV09)
And I apologize for saying "notice" in my comment about Cosmic Justice, as if you wouldn't have already known that. I assume Sowell also made the same point about cosmic government. Looking back (just a few minutes ago!), I don't know what I was thinking.
Posted by: Amritas at October 12, 2009 03:20 PM (+nV09)
4
As I read Brad Thor's Wikipedia entry, I wondered why Hollywood hasn't adapted any of his books yet. Oops, I forgot that Hollywood has "the best moral compass". So no eeeevil books must ever be made into movies. Never mind.
My remark yesterday about American attitudes in the 40s toward the Japanese came to mind when I stumbled onto this passage by democide expert RJ Rummel:
During World War II I was a
young boy highly influenced by anti-Japanese war propaganda. I saw the
Japanese as buck toothed, monkey-like, inscrutable, cruel and devious,
and without feeling or sentiment. It was a cultural shock, therefore,
to see the Japanese people as they really are while I was stationed in
Japan during the Korean War. I found that the Japanese were nothing
like my war engendered stereotypes. They could laugh and cry and love
flowers and animals. They could be loving and considerate. Moreover,
this period was close enough to the Second World War for me to see
still the effects on the people and cities of American bombing. This
experience had a life-long effect, for it made me ask myself why, if we
are really all the same as human beings, we make war on each other.
Rummel is an expert on peace studies, but he's no Goodist.
Posted by: Amritas at October 13, 2009 02:40 PM (+nV09)
5
I feel better now. I have recommended Amity Shlaes book to many but I did find it dense and slow going, anyway it sure gave us the facts!
I recommend the "The Kite Runner" it is a book I could not put down till I finished it. My granddaughter who was then 14 had it on her reading list at school. She is very advanced, 16 now she is doing rounds at hospital as part of her school plan. I also recommend "The Life of Pi", I think you will see you have been living it. Also got it from granddaughters pile of books. If you read it I will send you a copy of the song my son wrote about it, it is great, but I will have to have his permission. Read now, babies take a lot of attention.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 14, 2009 09:30 PM (adQh6)
6
Ruth -- I have wanted to read New Deal or Raw Deal too. I wonder how its density compares...ha. I have read Life of Pi, but years ago. And I saw the Kite Runner movie but didn't read the book first.
Posted by: Sarah at October 15, 2009 08:29 AM (gWUle)
HE WON WHAT?
While at my grandmother's, I had dial-up for a few days. And then, we exhausted her monthly usage. Take a moment and turn your mental clock back waaay to when you paid per minute and only got a certain number of hours per month. On dial-up. Oy. We knocked it out in no time flat. So come Wednesday morning, I had no more internet for the week.
Friday my husband called and said that he didn't have access either, though for a sadder reason than I. He then said that he thought a buddy was pulling his leg by saying that Pres Obama had won the Nobel Peace Prize.
I was at the lunch table with several relatives. I could've asked them if they'd heard about this news, but honestly, I thought it was too absurd to repeat out loud. I would've felt more serious asking, "Hey, have you guys heard that some people see Elvis at 7-11?" I mean, I just thought it was too stupid to repeat.
Really.
I hung up the phone and everyone at the table wondered what my husband had asked me about. So I had to say it.
And then found out it was true.
Let me repeat for emphasis: I thought the mere fact of asking my relatives if Pres Obama had won the Nobel Peace Prize was too embarrassing.
Imagine my embarrassment when I found out he did.
Man, I missed a good day to be on the internet. I hear people had mad jokes.
1
I'm pretty sure he's got American Girl of the Year locked up as well. That one's pretty cool, because you get a doll and a storybook made about you and marketed at all the American Girl Doll stores and online.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 11, 2009 05:50 PM (9sMSe)
2
I wish he would've declined it. He hasn't done anything to deserve it. I think he would've earned a lot more respect by declining it like a few others before him. I thought it was a joke too.
Posted by: Sara at October 11, 2009 09:54 PM (mjMky)
3
Even many of my liberal friends were making "Seriously?" and "What for?" -type comments on facebook.
Posted by: leofwende at October 11, 2009 10:10 PM (28CBm)
4
Build-A-Bear has the First Dog, so an American Girl doll seems terribly likely really...
Posted by: wifeunit at October 12, 2009 11:25 AM (4B1kO)
5
I couldn't believe this and ranted on Facebook about it that entire day. It's more so a reflection of the out-of-touch elitists in the world who mainly compromise the NPP committee (big surprise).
Personally, I thought this year was Morgan Tsvangirai's year - you know from stopping a tyrannical dictator from committing genocide and mass mutilation against his own people. But, eh, what do I know. As they said on Ace of Spades - the other nominees didn't have their own cover on People magazine, so there naysayers.
To lighten my mood, I took one narcissistic village (aka Hollywood) idiot and pitted him against our Emperor with No Clothes in Chief. Thus the beauty of Photoshop in our everyone-has-an-unsolicited-opinion age of society: "Kayne West Finally Properly Interrupts An Acceptance Speech" http://tinyurl.com/ylz3dvh
Posted by: BigD78 at October 12, 2009 02:09 PM (W3XUk)
PLAYING SPACEMAN
I'm leaving today to check off some more states on my list. I'm headed to visit my grandparents for a week. They have dial-up, so I probably won't be around much.
I plan to ask my grandmother umpteen more questions about birthing and raising 13 children in the 1950s and 60s.
1
Next week she tells them to go play in the street....
Posted by: Pamela at October 04, 2009 12:49 AM (RTpvv)
2
Sarah, this is not a comment on your last entry, but rather for me to provide the address of a blog I just found (and which I assume your husband is aware of) but on the off chance he doesn't thought it would be of interest to him. Hope all is well with you both. Regards, Rosie http://blog.freerangeinternational.com/?p=2189
Posted by: Rosie at October 04, 2009 09:30 PM (7pPiG)
3
Hi Sarah, I'm a lurker on your site. I love your perspective on things. I hope I can trouble you and your other readers for a favor.
I have a friend in VA who runs a small dog cat and horse rescue and also does military pet fosters as needed. She is participating in an on-line contest trying to raise funds for spay/neutering in her area. http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/shelterchallenge.faces?siteId=3
Lost Fantasy Stables Animal and Rescue Inc. in VA
the site recalls last vote for folks. You have to id an animal to confirm vote ie lion,tiger, dog, mouse.
Thanks for adding to the votes.
Posted by: Teresa VanHove at October 06, 2009 07:02 PM (dkExz)
4
Hope you enjoy your jaunt around the states! And don't quiz your grandma too hard! (Unless you get smart and brew a pot of tea to quench her soon to be parched palate from sharing all the important details with you! )
Posted by: Darla at October 11, 2009 06:24 AM (uIZoj)
ROOSEVELT'S WAGER
A great paragraph from my book The Forgotten Man. I think it applies to today just as easily, and I think it captures my frustration with why the system is not what I believe it should be:
But the critics had another reason to be loud -- their own frustration at the genius of Roosevelt's wager. Roosevelt, they saw, had understood something that the Republicans had not. The contest now was not Democrat versus Republican but rather this classical republic versus the classical democracy. Government was less a representative republic than it had once been, more directly controlled by the people. The change had started back in the 1910s with the constitutional amendment to permit the electorate to pick senators directly, rather than through their state legislatures. Suffrage for women had accelerated it. And the Depression had accelerated it again -- people who might not have had an interest in government before now found that hunger concentrated their minds. Instead of asking what government was doing on behalf of the general welfare, voters were asking in a very democratic way what Roosevelt was doing for them.
1
I've been pondering over that passage during the last week. I've never read the book, so I don't know its full context. In isolation, Shlaes seems to be saying that a government "more directly controlled by the people" is worse than one that is less directly controlled. But is letting the electorate picking senators necessarily a bad thing? Are state legislatures inherently better selectors of senators? (One could argue that they are, since they are probably better educated - or indoctrinated? - than many or even most voters and by experience if not training are more acquainted with the law.) Would state legislatures not have picked Ted Kennedy and Obama?
Suffrage for women had accelerated it.
Undoubtedly, because allowing women to vote instantly doubles the electorate. Would Shlaes advocate that women no longer be able to vote? That would halve the (excessive) power of the people.
Instead of asking what government was doing on behalf of the general
welfare, voters were asking in a very democratic way what Roosevelt was
doing for them.
And so they voted for him. Should direct elections of presidents be abolished in favor of a prime minister appointed by Congress?
Would a "classical republic" necessarily cause voters to ask what Shlaes seems to think is the right question: what is government doing on behalf of the general welfare? How much does the form of government influence the thinking of its citizens?
Tonight I watched this video on the difference between a democracy and a republic: rule by people vs. rule by law. But I wondered: which laws? Who makes them up? Laws are neither inherently good nor evil. Law-and-order people always assume that 'laws' are right (i.e., embody what they think is right.) But Article 58 was also a law.
"Who among us has not experienced its all-encompassing embrace? In all
truth, there is no step, thought, action, or lack of action under the
heavens which could not be punished by the heavy hand of Article 58."
- Solzhenitsyn
Just as 'democracy' was not a panacea for Iraq, the concept of a 'republic' is not a panacea for America. (Has anyone demanded a 'republic' instead of a 'democracy' for Iraq, Afghanistan, etc.?) Here's how a 'republic' could work:
- the people vote for state legislatures (mostly made up of lawyers)
- those legislatures vote for senators (more lawyers)
- the senators pick a prime minister (another lawyer)
This is not that different from what we already have - de facto rule by an oligarchy of lawyers. (That video contrasted an oligarchy with a republic. The dividing line is not so obvious to me.) This would be fine if the lawyers were like Guard Wife, but they are more like St. Ted and the One.
Any system of government can be 'gamed'.
Posted by: Amritas at October 12, 2009 02:45 AM (h9KHg)
2
It just occurred to me that if rule by law is ideal, then rulers have to be lawyers. Why give power to a Palin when it should be in the hands of an anointed caste that elects each other?
54 percent of respondents [among LSAT takers] say they will "definitely" or "probably" run for political office ...
Has Obama's law degree proved more inspiring than Bush's MBA?
I wonder how many law student graduates want to run for office? How many think they can be the next Obama? The next Hillary or Bill?
A special few make the laws and all others must obey them. Take the LSAT. Go to law school. Pass the bar exam. And even then, there's no guarantee of success:
At Northwestern University Law School, at least three-quarters of
students who graduated in May had their employment deferred, in some
cases up to a year, says Bill Chamberlain, head of the school's career
center.
But if you're lucky enough, power can be yours. And you can write more laws to make yourself more powerful. When the people cry, "Do something!" you can say truthfully that you are doing something, even if you don't admit you're just empowering yourself. The impressed masses will then reelect you. Term limits? Why would you ever draft or vote for such a thing?
The only reason you want the Twenty-Second Amendment is so that some incumbent won't stand in your way. It should only be repealed once the throne is yours.
Posted by: Amritas at October 12, 2009 09:02 PM (h9KHg)
ALMOST HALFWAY THERE
I had a doctor appointment today. I thought it was just a regular appointment, but it turns out it was my Type II ultrasound. Wow, that was the first time that a medical snafu has turned into a fun surprise instead of me wanting to set someone on fire.
I am so used to early ultrasounds, seeing a teeny blob in a big uterus. My first reaction was how big she was. My second was how developed she is.
She looks great.
She had the hiccups and was clapping her hands and rubbing her face. And everything is perfect: normal heart, normal spine, normal piggy toes.
She's jammed in there so snug...why can't I feel her yet?
1
I have heard that first time moms have a hard time distinguishing baby movements from regular body stuff? I'm sure she'll give you a good swift kick soon.
So so so so so so so happy and smiling to "see" your little one growing and thriving.
Posted by: loquita at October 02, 2009 01:59 PM (zRFw4)
She is GORGEOUS! As for feeling her...I didn't feel Rusty until I was 20 weeks! I was starting to really wonder. Even after that, I never felt him a lot. He was jammed in SOOOO tight. I never got REALLY huge, but he came out 8 lbs. 6 oz. He was just snug as a little bug in there. Everyone would tell me how they felt their babies move all of the time and I didn't, but I also wasn't woken up by him in the middle of the night! (Until later on!)
I love her little face! It's so precious! Looking forward to seeing her on the outside!
Posted by: stacy at October 02, 2009 02:46 PM (JKqIL)
3
I didn't feel Kiddo nearly as much as my friends felt their kiddos, either - on occasion, yes, but I didn't eat much sugary stuff, I'm a little... "padded," and he was snug (kept jamming his head up in my ribs - so much for breathing, right? are you feeling more oxygenated yet?)
Hope she starts tapping hello once in a while for you! :-)
Posted by: Krista at October 02, 2009 03:00 PM (sUTgZ)
4
Your baby is precious! She'll soon give you an idea of her temperament as she continues her development. My three were each different, first, a girl, had dainty movements, later turned into kicking down like a little dancer, second, a boy kicked,elbowed and head butted, hard and often. The third was a comfort lover who snuggled and slowly stretched. I recognized the feel of the knees, elbows, head and butt after each was born, and, their pre-birth personalities continued past birth. She loved being cute and admired, elder son was always on the move,curious about everything, and youngest loved comfort and snuggling.
Posted by: HChambers at October 02, 2009 03:52 PM (QyH1P)
I didn't feel (or more accurately didn't recognize what I was feeling) until the 20-week ultrasound, when I saw him move and correlated it with what I was feeling. From then on out I could recognize the feeling and realize that I had been feeling him for some time, but was attributing it to gas or stomach feelings.
I would bet that when you do recognize the feeling you will realize that you've been feeling her for a while.
She looks great!
Posted by: Christa at October 05, 2009 12:24 PM (2qSbp)
17
Hooray! What a great picture!
Pie slept through his 20-week ultrasound, but I got to see him yawn and swallow. I still see that profile in his face today.
It's so very, very precious, and I'm SOOOO HAPPY for you that you get to see your very own baby in profile in utero, too!
Pie liked to roll around before he really started kicking. I thought at first that it was just gas bubbles, but it was such a unique feeling that I finally realized it was the baby, not my digestion. And the day I felt him actually kick me, it was just the tiniest taps, but I knew it was him!
After that, he was a stretcher: He'd lodge a foot or shoulder on my left hip bone and try to reenact Aliens through the right side of my belly. I had to push him back down all the time. He's still that way. He'll kick anything near his feet -- even my face, if I'm not careful!
The weirdest feeling, though, is after she is finally Outside, and you're sitting in the hospital holding her and still feeling kicking in your belly. Phantom kicks are wacky! Pie's been out for a year and a half, and I'll get a gas bubble that I'm sure felt like a kick, and have to remind myself that I'm pretty darn sure I'm NOT pregnant!
Posted by: Deltasierra at October 07, 2009 01:57 AM (D4fxj)
On September 24, Obama ostentatiously presided over the Security
Council. With 14 heads of state (or government) at the table, with an
American president in the chair for the first time ever, with every
news camera in the world trained on the meeting, it would
garner unprecedented worldwide attention.
Unknown to the world,
Obama had in his pocket explosive revelations about an illegal
uranium-enrichment facility that the Iranians had been hiding near Qom.
The French and the British were urging him to use this most dramatic of
settings to stun the world with the revelation and to call for
immediate action.
Obama refused. Not only did he say nothing about it, but, reports Le Monde, Sarkozy was forced to scrap the Qom section of his
speech. Obama held the news until a day later — in Pittsburgh. I’ve got
nothing against Pittsburgh (site of the G-20 summit), but
a stacked-with-world-leaders Security Council chamber, it is not.
Why
forgo the opportunity? Because Obama wanted the Security
Council meeting to be about his own dream of a nuclear-free world. The
president, reports the New York Times, citing “White House officials,†did not want to “dilute†his disarmament resolution “by diverting to Iran.â€
Diversion?
It’s the most serious security issue in the world. A diversion from
what? From a worthless U.N. disarmament resolution?
Yes. And from Obama’s star turn as planetary visionary: “The administration told the French,†reports the Wall Street Journal, “that it didn’t want to ‘spoil the image of success’ for Mr. Obama’s debut at the U.N.â€
"Spoil the image of success." Not real success, but the image.
On second thought, I'll say a little more - it's one thing to choose your presentation style; it's quite another to presume to censor world-affecting information to manipulate the news.
Posted by: Krista at October 02, 2009 11:45 AM (sUTgZ)
3
The image is all Obama needs. No matter what he actually does, he will retire in 2012 or 2016 and live well. We Great Leaders don't have to care about consequences. We only care about ourselves. We expect the world to bow down before our great Selves:
As a narcissist, Obama’s idea to solve the problems of the world is
to charm his opponents with his personal charisma ...
Obama thinks that if he ingratiates the rogue leaders of the world
they will all set aside their hostility against America and become
friends. Then he can shine and triumphantly prove to the world that he
is a messiah, with wisdom far surpassing other leaders and thus be
hailed as the ONE who ended the wars and established the Kingdom on
Earth.
Of course any sane person knows that these are juvenile thinkings.
Since the masses of people are simply naïve, they were swayed by such
demagogy and thought he really can perform miracles. Narcissists are
very confident of themselves. That is the source of their charisma. The
problem is that their confidence stems from their inability to separate
facts from fantasy.
He [Obama] is not the Word made flesh, but the triumph of word over flesh, over color, over despair.
- Ezra Klein
Flesh is physical. But words don't need real world referents. We Great Leaders can and do say anything we want. When you starve, we celebrate a harvest.When you lose battles, we proclaim victory. And millions of you will support us no matter what. Millions will vote for us. Willingly. We love democracy because it is dumb-ocracy. We tell the masses what they want to hear and they buy it. They believe in "the triumph of word over flesh" - in magic.
Don't be fooled by iPods. Men are still cavemen, ready to obey anyone who acts like a chief, or in modern parlance, 'acts presidential'. Obama is an actor.
Actors can be narcissists. The public reinforces their 'greatness' by praising them instead of the director, the screenwriter, and all the many others who make our 'entertainment'. These 'mere' nonactors are the equivalent of the faceless capitalists who power the nation that Obama rules. Who cares about them when there is the One who makes us feel so good? In Klein's words,
Obama's finest speeches do not excite. They do not inform. They don't even really inspire. They elevate.
They enmesh you in a grander moment, as if history has stopped flowing
passively by, and, just for an instant, contracted around you, made you
aware of its presence and your role in it.
Can McCain do that? No wonder he lost.
We live in an Oprah world where feelings matter more than facts. We Great Leaders manipulate both. As long as you're on an emotional high, you won't think. You won't notice that Eastasia is our ally/enemy/whatever today even though it wasn't yesterday. You'll conveniently forget about Rev. Wright, about Ayers, about all those inconvenient truths even Al Gore won't mention.
But you haven't forgotten, have you? You still remember. Remember this prediction:
The narcissistic leader prefers the sparkle and glamour of
well-orchestrated illusions to the tedium and method of real
accomplishments, His reign is all smoke and mirrors, devoid of
substances, consisting of mere appearances and mass delusions. In the
aftermath of his regime - the narcissistic leader having died, been
deposed, or voted out of office - it all unravels.
- Sam Vaknin
Posted by: kevin at October 02, 2009 01:16 PM (+nV09)
Why on earth did Sarkozy go along with this? He's not one of Obama's employees.
In 1936, when the Germans moved troops into the Rhineland in defiance of treaty, French officials debated a military response. One of the arguments made *against* was that the United States wouldn't like it.
Allies should be treated with respect, but there are times a country's gotta do what it's gotta do.
Posted by: david foster at October 02, 2009 01:59 PM (uWlpq)
Whoopi Goldberg is facing a fierce backlash after saying that film
director Roman Polanski didn't commit "rape-rape" when he had unlawful
sex with a 13-year-old girl. Goldberg, star of The Color Purple and Sister Act, said: "I know it
wasn't rape-rape. I think it was something else, but I don't believe it was
rape-rape."
His victim, Samantha Gailey, told a grand jury that the director had plied her
with champagne and drugs and taken nude pictures of her in a hot tub during
a fashion shoot. Polanski then had sexual intercourse with her despite her
resistance and requests to be taken home, she said.
Whew. I'm glad I now understand the difference between rape and rape-rape.
So which one did Cameron Diaz mean that Bush would legalize? Real rape or the "I'm famous so I can do whatever I want" rape?
If his unspeakable deed doesn’t meet the standard, what exactly would
Roman Polanski have to do in order to become a pariah in this town … I
mean, besides vote for Sarah Palin?
1
Hollywood's attitude on this just floors me. A 13-year-old CANNOT legally consent to sexual relations, regardless of being pumped full of drugs and alcohol. The list of Hollywood characters saying we should just forget about it, "it was 30 years ago", disgusts me. It's no real wonder why I haven't been to a movie since Marley & Me last holiday season (though I wanted to see Harry Potter, but with baseball season and not having anyone to go with, I missed it). I don't want to give these people my hard-earned money.
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at September 30, 2009 09:52 PM (paOhf)
2
The expressions I get when these people talk probably make me look like Jim Carrey on crack (which is probably normal Jim Carrey, really).
Anyway, I get you. I don't care HOW long ago it was, or how many "good" movies the guy made since then. Your culpability for a crime does not suddenly disappear just because it "happened a long time ago."
Honestly - I think that makes it worse. He's had 30 years to go sow more wild oats. He's had time he should not have had. He's not only NOT learned a lesson in appropriate behavior, but he's had the idea that he's above the law ingrained in him.
He's a pervert, a disgusting pedophile, and a RAPIST and he should be treated as such. I also agree with one of my peeps on Facebook who said that anyone who thinks he should be forgiven should ask themselves if they'd send their daughter or granddaughter over to Uncle Roman's house for a weekend of babysitting.
Right. That's what I thought.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 01, 2009 12:59 AM (9sMSe)
Posted by: Oda Mae at October 01, 2009 06:16 AM (AxelT)
4
Rape is Rape is Rape.. The girl was underage. She could NOT give consent. The charge is RAPE. In my humble opinion, the perpertraor should be hung, drawn and quartered.
Posted by: bx19 at October 01, 2009 05:14 PM (bWGnc)
5
Un. freaking. beleivable. Steam is coming out my ears.
Posted by: Lucy at October 01, 2009 05:38 PM (YNvUz)
6
Also, I wonder how Whoopi would take it if I said that Dog the Bounty Hunter's N word tirade wasn't "racism-racism".
Not that I WOULD say that, because let's face it - it was racism. Seriously.
Just like what Polanski did was rape.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 01, 2009 08:36 PM (9sMSe)
7
It totally disgusted me when I read about that. It's amazing how hurt and unfair Hollywood thinks this "situation" is to them. They need to get over it. Jackazzes. I'm for the drawing and quartering.
Posted by: Susan at October 01, 2009 09:13 PM (EU2Wl)
8
Would it have been "rape-rape" had it happened to Whoopi's daughter or one of her two granddaughters? You bet your butt it would. In an instant.
Better yet, would Whoopi or any other of those that are so quick to rush to Mr. Polanski's defense allow him to EVER babysit their 13 year odl daughter? I doubt it seriously.
Posted by: HomefrontSix at October 05, 2009 07:31 PM (/CWwF)
KEEPING GUARD
I was so touched to see that WifeUnit and her husband brought the little ewok I made to watch over their new son in the hospital. And that the ewok donned a hazmat suit to join baby in his incubator.
1
How early was he? Is he going to be okay? Poor baby.
Posted by: Christa at September 30, 2009 11:33 AM (2qSbp)
2
Will you please let her know that her family is in my thoughts? (I don't have a way to tell her myself since her blog is protected now). Hoping he will improve quickly!
Posted by: dutchgirl at September 30, 2009 12:06 PM (Yg8bq)
3
Send some bloggy love from me, too....can't check in on her anymore. Hope all is well and they are all taking care.
Posted by: Susan at September 30, 2009 09:04 PM (EU2Wl)
4
Best wishes to WifeUnit, BabyUnit and DaddyUnit. Thinking positive thoughts here. My cousin's oldest was a premie, and he's a happy, healthy 3-1/2 year old now (though his almost 2 year old little brother is probably going to surpass him in size in the not-to-distant future...).
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at September 30, 2009 09:48 PM (paOhf)
5
please send my best to wifeunit... tell her noah was a 28 weeker (and that was 24 years ago!) and weighed 1280 grams (2 lbs 13 oz)... and he's sassy and all grown... one day at a time! prayers for them all.
KANGAROO SWEATER
I got my first homemade baby gift the other day. The Girl made an adorable baby sweater, one with a kangaroo pouch! So cute. And right around the same day, MaryIndiana sent a little kangaroo. And, voila...
Posted by: Heather at September 29, 2009 07:39 PM (ACoc9)
3
Cute sweater! Just make sure the baby doesn't carry her credit or debit cards in the same pouch...the little magnets in the toy kangaroo's feet will wreak havoc on them!
Posted by: MaryIndiana at September 30, 2009 11:50 AM (aeRQR)
4
A Ha!!! Babies DO need pockets. I'll have to show this to Mags.
Posted by: Guard Wife at September 30, 2009 08:29 PM (EvsXa)
5
Oh my gosh that's so cute. It's one of those things I'd wear in my own size, minue the kangaroo of course. How adorable
Posted by: Sara at October 04, 2009 11:08 AM (mjMky)
Mind boggling factoid of the week: if you’re going to have a
little girl, her ovaries have already produced millions of primordial
egg cells, which, within a few weeks, will develop into actual eggs!
And I have the joy of knowing that at this very moment, my little girl is growing perfectly normal eggs. That one day she should be able to have a baby of her own without the problems I faced.
1
That really is awesome! We always want better for our kids people like to say. Such a great thing to know she won't need to fight that particular battle.
Posted by: wifeunit at September 29, 2009 11:07 PM (pRehN)
2
One less thing to worry about, which is wonderful.
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at September 30, 2009 10:10 PM (paOhf)
3
Okay... I'm all misty now. I am just SO excited & happy for you, and your little girl... *sniffle* Happy, happy, wonderful thoughts!
Posted by: Krista at October 01, 2009 03:11 AM (sUTgZ)
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There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of living. --The Count of Monte Cristo--
While our troops go out to defend our country, it is incumbent upon us to make the country worth defending. --Deskmerc--
Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, WWII, and the Star Wars Trilogy. --Bart Simpson--
If you want to be a peacemaker, you've gotta learn to kick ass. --Sheriff of East Houston, Superman II--
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind. --Jed Babbin--
Dante once said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality. --President John F. Kennedy--
War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. --General Patton--
We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over. --Full Metal Jacket--
Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. They need to be destroyed. --Dick Cheney--
The Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. --Col Steven Arrington--
The purpose of diplomacy isn't to make us feel good about Eurocentric diplomatic skills, and having countries from the axis of chocolate tie our shoelaces together does nothing to advance our infantry. --Sir George--
I just don't care about the criticism I receive every day, because I know the cause I defend is right. --Oriol--
It's days like this when we're reminded that freedom isn't free. --Chaplain Jacob--
Bumper stickers aren't going to accomplish some of the missions this country is going to face. --David Smith--
The success of multilateralism is measured not merely by following a process, but by achieving results. --President Bush--
Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it to the limit of your life.
--John Galt--
First, go buy a six pack and swig it all down. Then, watch Ace Ventura. And after that, buy a Hard Rock Cafe shirt and come talk to me. You really need to lighten up, man.
--Sminklemeyer--
You've got to kill people, and when you've killed enough they stop fighting --General Curtis Lemay--
If we wish to be free, if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending, if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained -- we must fight! --Patrick Henry--
America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American. --President George W. Bush--
are usually just cheerleading sessions, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing but a soothing reduction in blood pressure brought about by the narcotic high of being agreed with. --Bill Whittle
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
--John Stuart Mill--
We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other. --General George Marshall--
We can continue to try and clean up the gutters all over the world and spend all of our resources looking at just the dirty spots and trying to make them clean. Or we can lift our eyes up and look into the skies and move forward in an evolutionary way.
--Buzz Aldrin--
America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
--Dinesh D'Souza--
Recent anti-Israel protests remind us again of our era's peculiar alliance: the most violent, intolerant, militantly religious movement in modern times has the peace movement on its side. --James Lileks--
As a wise man once said: we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
Unless the price is too high, the burden too great, the hardship too hard, the friend acts disproportionately, and the foe fights back. In which case, we need a timetable.
--James Lileks--
I am not willing to kill a man so that he will agree with my faith, but I am prepared to kill a man so that he cannot force my compatriots to submit to his.
--Froggy--
You can say what you want about President Bush; but the truth is that he can take a punch. The man has taken a swift kick in the crotch for breakfast every day for 6 years and he keeps getting up with a smile in his heart and a sense of swift determination to see the job through to the best of his abilties.
--Varifrank--
In a perfect world, We'd live in peace and love and harmony with each oither and the world, but then, in a perfect world, Yoko would have taken the bullet.
--SarahBellum--
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. --Ronald Reagan--
America is rather like life. You can usually find in it what you look for. It will probably be interesting, and it is sure to be large. --E.M. Forster--
Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse. --Mark Twain--
The Enlightenment was followed by the French Revolution and the Napoleonic wars, which touched every European state, sparked vicious guerrilla conflicts across the Continent and killed millions. Then, things really turned ugly after the invention of soccer. --Iowahawk--
Every time I meet an Iraqi Army Soldier or Policeman that I haven't met before, I shake his hand and thank him for his service. Many times I am thanked for being here and helping his country. I always tell them that free people help each other and that those that truly value freedom help those seeking it no matter the cost. --Jack Army--
Right, left - the terms are useless nowadays anyway. There are statists, and there are individualists. There are pessimists, and optimists. There are people who look backwards and trust in the West, and those who look forward and trust in The World. Those are the continuums that seem to matter the most right now. --Lileks--
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
--Winston Churchill--
A man or a nation is not placed upon this earth to do merely what is pleasant and what is profitable. It is often called upon to carry out what is both unpleasant and unprofitable, but if it is obviously right it is mere shirking not to undertake it. --Arthur Conan Doyle--
A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself. --John Stuart Mill--
After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." --Dave Grossman--
At heart I’m a cowboy; my attitude is if they’re not going to stand up and fight for what they believe in then they can go pound sand. --Bill Whittle--
A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. --Alexander Tyler--
By that time a village half-wit could see what generations of professors had pretended not to notice. --Atlas Shrugged--
I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he'd say, "That's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too." --Alabama Worley--
So Bush is history, and we have a new president who promises to heal the planet, and yet the jihadists don’t seem to have got the Obama message that there are no enemies, just friends we haven’t yet held talks without preconditions with.
--Mark Steyn--
"I had started alone in this journey called life, people started
gathering up on the way, and the caravan got bigger everyday." --Urdu couplet
The book and the sword are the two things that control the world. We either gonna control them through knowledge and influence their minds, or we gonna bring the sword and take their heads off. --RZA--
It's a daily game of public Frogger, hopping frantically to avoid being crushed under the weight of your own narcissism, banality, and plain old stupidity. --Mary Katharine Ham--
There are more instances of the abridgment of freedoms
of the people by gradual and silent encroachment of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations. --James Madison--
It is in the heat of emotion that good people must remember to stand on principle. --Larry Elder--
Please show this to the president and ask him to remember the wishes of the forgotten man, that is, the one who dared to vote against him. We expect to be tramped on but we do wish the stepping would be a little less hard. --from a letter to Eleanor Roosevelt--
The world economy depends every day on some engineer, farmer, architect, radiator shop owner, truck driver or plumber getting up at 5AM, going to work, toiling hard, and producing real wealth so that an array of bureaucrats, regulators, and redistributors can manage the proper allotment of much of the natural largess produced. --VDH--
Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves. --Marcelene Cox--